I’m so grateful for this relationship of 2-3 years. Honestly I could not have asked for anyone better to be my first love. I just hate how it ended. :( We started off as friends..the mystery of each other kept us interested. We’d meet up even just for an hour before I went to work or he’d pick me up after for dinner. It was cute and I loved spending time with this guy. He was a cool guy. We couldn’t go a day without talking. We’d laugh about the stupidest things and talk about some deep stuff too. After 2 years we started to get comfortable. We knew everything about each other already. Days would pass and we didn’t need to contact each other as much. But nothing changed when we were together, still the same us. But then that changed too.
Even when we were together we almost had nothing to say anymore. I tried to be normal but I could tell he wasn’t. He tried but I couldn’t fake it either. We were together, but we were alone, together. I loved this guy but his actions made me dislike him. I think I loved his dream and the person he wanted to be that I wanted to be there through his journey. But he wasn’t actually that person yet but i was hooked on the idea of his future self. Because we were each others first love, even though the love was gone, we didn’t want to let go. We didn’t know how to. Until he found a replacement. The thing that hit me most is how he could get over his feelings so quickly and move on to the next girl! Maybe because there’s someone there to replace me, he doesn’t have to feel the sadness I’m feeling. He says he won’t forget me but I feel like I never existed anymore. Like that past 3 years was just a dream. But I know it wasnt, and the memories I share with this guy will never leave me and I’ve honestly learned a lot from him. And I thank him for that, and I also thank him for letting me go.
Some people are just not meant to be. We learn together but don’t end up together. I’m sure he’s learned a lot from me too and despite us talking bad about each other now (i’m sure), I know we’re both good people who just went through things that led us to making bad decisions. Life goes on… doors will open for bigger and better things to come! :) More lessons, more experience, more out of life!
this is ridiculous
HE SCRATCHED HIS EYE
Amsterdam - Netherlands (von Bert Kaufmann)
Didn’t make a ‘being 20’ post last year before my 21st so I’m just writing this one now…Being 20…I don’t really know where time has gone since I’m already turning 22 this year! In 5 months!! WTF. I’m only writing this post cause I’m bored and taking a break from doing sketchbook work. Um yeah, I’m in 2nd year, again. In other words, I slacked hard last year. :( I guess people work in their own pace and I just needed an extra year to get back on track and prepare myself for the big 3rd year of my degree.
Second time round, 2nd year is much better, I like to think so anyway. Only re-doing the two modules I didn’t pass so there’s not too much work load. ANYWAY too much info. I just can’t wait to start third year and actually do well in the year that counts towards my degree.
In other areas, work, friends, family..that’s all still there, which I am eternally grateful for.They’re always keeping me in check with reality and that’s exactly what I need.
What did I do for my 21st? I went back to New York! Kind of like a tradition now for my big birthdays to visit the Empire State. :) See you again when I’m 30, big apple. haha
So, the thought of being 22 is actually crazy! Nah, I’m actually an adult. I swear I still think like a little kid sometimes! I just hope for a good future ahead of me….Hoping won’t get me too far though„gotta WERK. I gotta get my priorities straight, set a goal and plan how I’m gonna achieve it.
One way or another, I’m sure I will :)
Peace out suckkkassssssss I’m bored of writing now haha.
artworks by adriana deco
fuck getting bitten by a snake
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lol I just read my ‘being 18' post from last year so I thought why not do another one this year :p
So I’m turning 20 in 4 slash 3 days..that’s such a crazy thought! Being 19 defo did pretty much feel the same as 18..but so much has happened! I’ve completed my first year of university, lived away from home, people slowly faded out, but new ones came in, formed closer bonds and still more to experience! Learned so much more about myself and the people around me. I don’t know, I definitely feel a progress in me so I can’t complain there.. I’m slow, but we all knew that! haha.
Fxckkk, it’s crazy to think I’m not going to be a teenager anymore..I always thought those people were old, now I’m one of them?! Better start acting like one I guess? hmm. Lol, but seriously..a lot has happened this year and I’m always thankful to have had these people in my life. No regrets, just lessons and great memories :)
I look forward to reading this post next year and notice how much has changed in one single year. I’ll be 21! OMG. WHATT. You better be in Vegas/Miami (or somewhere in Europe) right now Grace! lololol.
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